what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
