Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
