White coat. Heels.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
