Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
