Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
