dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
