I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
