Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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