If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
