that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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