Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
