people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
