Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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