i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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