so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
