dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
