Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize