we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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