I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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