OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he told me I talked like a deaf person
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
