id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
