he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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