im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize