Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
