she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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