Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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