I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize