i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
