tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
