I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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