You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize