I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
