I love black thongs
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
