It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
