I hate your face
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
