I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
tell me about the fingering
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
