So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
