just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
