3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
