Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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