With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
