butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
