you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
