Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
