windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
