It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize