Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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