Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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