I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
