We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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