yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
