is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
