The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize