I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
