How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
