you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
