there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
