Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize