Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize