hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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